Thanks, but I can see the view just fine from here.

A Word on Polished Society

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Good news!  Chivalry is officially extinct.  Add to its untimely demise the deaths of propriety, etiquette, gentility, and social behaviors expected of (and celebrated by) men and women of class.  Rejoice!  Gone are the days of patiently waiting for a lover to leave a card with the butler, of stealing a glance to your favorite here and there, and by all means, indulge in sexual impropriety, for it is no longer condemned in these modern days; innocence in its various forms is largely subject to ridicule now – heaven forbid any of us participate in an action that would make us look ridiculous!

Do not feel pressured to choose a mate from your social sphere; the world is your playground, thanks to our increasing connectivity.  Slight those who would woo you, woo those who would reject you, and don’t ever take “no” for an answer.  If  a lady tells you “no” in your town, seek “yes” in another country!

Do not hesitate to disregard any undesirable connection; with such a reach as we supply, pleasant and profitable connections can be found across the globe.  Never settle for “working out” differences between you and your beloved.  Heavens!  When the whole world is available to you?   It is a fool who works with what he’s got immediately in front of him.  Simply discard your newly unwanted and embrace the next partner in your journey through life.  And make sure to enjoy yourself!  What is life without pleasure?

Don’t know how to say goodbye?  Click here for an example.  Mind the language.

For all of you ladies who secretly wish to become gentlemen, and all of you gentleman who silently long to be ladies, you are living in exciting times!  Androgyny is already common practice in the most sophisticated fashion circles, and its biological counterpart is just over the horizon!

So what are you waiting for?  Demand love from your partner, or demand silence if that is a wish dearer to your heart; intrude on your beloved’s (or beloveds’) privacy by sending a barrage of messages to them at all hours.  If you prefer stonewalling, you’re in luck!  It is lately all the rage, so use this newly re-popular technique against those you dislike or those whom you believe may reflect poorly on your social standing.  How fine you will look when you turn your back on those who would speak to you!

Declare your love in base language and with beastly ardor.  Societal structure no longer supports the long-forsaken rules of romantic engagement.  Fluidity has replaced stability, and indeed it seems the best course of our world, for are not divisions caused by immovable laws?  The more fluid we are as a people, the more unified we will become.  Indeed, soon no one will be able to tell any of us from the other. Rapture!

Above all else, do not regard any poor hopeful’s feelings above your own; we must be careful nowadays to protect ourselves and our best interests, ever-changing though they may be.  Who else will look out for us, if not we for ourselves?  Do no suppose gentlemen and ladies of character will stoop to empathic action.  No, indeed!

Celebrate with us the death of antiquated customs, their discontinuation long overdue, and prove yourself to be a deserving member of high society by reflecting a modern lifestyle that will, no doubt, be the only refined way into a prosperous (and deliciously acrimonious) future.

Sincerely,

Your Enthusiastically Emerging Technology

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2 responses

  1. Even in the world of ever-changing fluidity that we find ourselves, I think that people will always hold fast to who they see themselves as… some spineless, changing with the tides of fashion and social expectations, some thick-skulled, unyielding and almost opposing to the tide it would seem, some their own little island. Even in the ocean that covers our world I think we will always find those few places that have poked through the facade, and some of those will always have what people have come to know as chivalrous behavior.

    November 27, 2011 at 6:45 pm

  2. TCT

    Beautifully spoken, Jon.

    November 30, 2011 at 2:34 pm

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